Writer in Motion Self-edits in progress

rip and tear edition

Trying to figure out what I’m doing. this is layer one. Rip off the unstable stuff. It’s not bad–this just isn’t the spot for it. It’s too long, at around 1800 words. just skim though to see how much got the axe.

Days later she went back down to the village and sat on the fence watching the horses. Every now and then one would come over and she would talk to it asking about the weather, its family, or some other nicety. They would sometimes bring her grass, or fruit a gift to a liked neighbor. She thanked them and sometime regifted the treasures. 

A human, the rancher she realized after a moment, came over and looked her over. “You have a way with the horses.” 

“Yah. I like horses.” She’s said not looking at the shorter man. “My people used to raise we horses.”

“So its in your blood. I can see that.” He held out his hand. “I’m Morgan Redvers.”

“Cami.” She shook his hand. 

“Where are ya from. I can’t place that accent.”

“My ancestors  we from all over.” She smiled.

“I have worked with Redvers’ Shires before. They are easy to train and have pleasant personalities. These look different and they are much friendlier.”

For the next hour the two chatted about the line of horses he was breeding for mountain work.”they need to be just as strong, but smaller. And honestly, good companions are sought after.”

“It can get lonely up there for sure.” She had been feeling that like a weight this summer.

“Forgive me, but I have been asking around about you. Are you planing on taking lodging her in the village this winter?”

“I haven’t decided. It gets expensive and I don’t ear much from my wild crafting.”

“Then let me propose this. I need more staff over the winter. There are lodgings in the back house not the barn. And a small wage. And if thing work out, perhaps a permanent job.”

“That would be better than the other two options. She bowed her head. “I will consider it and let you kn soon.”

He bowed and stood off calling to the horses.  Several escorted him back across the grazing land to the barn. He treated the horses well, they had no reason to fear people. he seemed good natured enough. She’d ask around about him and maybe talk to his wife. (Rearrange this or get rid of it

That evening in the inn’s great room notices a lot of new comers. Cami didn’t drink so she sat out of the way with food trying not to draw attention to herself she hadn’t yet picked up the habit of fishing for news from the low lands like the rest of the villagers. when she was done she slipped back to the kitchen. 

“Can I settle up now?” She asked the innkeeper.

“Of course. You not sticking around?”

“Too many people. You know I like my solitude.”

“Ahh I though maybe you’d want to talk to them their accents sound a bit like yours.”

Cami paused. The people in the mountains disregarded physical appearance to group people.  They believed that physical attributes told you nothing, instead, they listened to speech. The saying was that borders change and people move, but the voice of your people stays with you no matter what. And most of the mountain folk, could map your entire life after as short conversation. It was an art.

“I wasn’t listening to them.”

“They are about as talkative as you are, so you haven’t missed much. Getting more than yes, no, and thank you from you people is like trying to get a ripe apple to sink in a barrel.

Cami counted out the coins for the attic barracks. But the inn keeper handed her a key. “Those men are up there tonight and I have a room open. No extra change, but if you could pull the sheets off the bed and leave um by the door,  wifey would be appreciative. just leave the key on the night stand when you leave.”

“Thank you (name).”

After two days around people, the forests silence almost swallowed her. But she needed time to think again a when Cambriah was around people she couldn’t let her thoughts flow. As she walked she searched the ground and bushes for plants to forage. It was a half days walk home and but the time she got up to her little hut, it would be much to late to prepare a good meal. 

The hoof print stopped her in the game trail she was following. It was un shod, meaning this was not a domesticated horse and it was also much bigger than any of the local breeds of horses. And, horses don’t usually choose such narrow trails to follow. Back down the trail, this creature had been hiding its trail. she found a break in the under brush and slipped into the trees. Cami navigated up the mountain to her little home and arrived just at sunset. As usual her breath caught seeing the sky painted with pinks and purples in the west. 

She focused because she would be losing light fast, and checked around her little cabin for evidence. It looked like the equine had not been up this far. Once it got dark she when back to the cabin. she rolled the little light orb in its holder, on of the few comforts she had brought from her mother’s house. It took a moment for the Room to fill with a warm glow. She set her foraging bag down and unwrapped the roast beef bones she bought off the innkeeper. put away the supplies as she checked that no one had been in her house.  Finally satisfied, she Hund up the long hilted sword she kept on her back all the time. She was a tall woman, even so, the sword looked unwieldy for her, but she could use it like it had been in her hand all her life.  She kept it nexuses to the bed in the loft of the cabin. It wasn’t yet cold enough that she needed a fire every night but it wouldn’t be long.  Even now she was debating trying to stay at the cabin in the winter or moving down to the village again. She got her bone broth set up and sat eating the fruit she’d picked on the way home. Not an ideal meal, but she was saving all her coin for winter supplies or lodging. Her dinner of fruit left much to be desired and cami went to bed still hungry. woke hungry. The next day she set out traps and searched for eggs so she would have at least one decent meal today. Once the chores were done she ventured back into the tree to check her traps. 

The next day she returned to her cabin and looked for tracks again  but when she arrived she noticed the clearing by her house was quiet. Normally there was bird song and the bus of the larger insects. she moved back into the trees her body tingling and heart beating in her ears. She reached back tying her mane of platinum streaked coils with a strip of cloth incas she needed to fight or run.she drew her sword holding the spieling iridescent hilt in her hand. the layers of white and black steel glinted in the sun. A big broke behind her and the huger creature charged. 

Hot breath on her shoulder mad froze her in place. 

His smell was hard to mistake. Each of them had adistict scent. She turned putting her sword to the point where his neck joined his chest. The much copper Equine or what the human called Unicorn stared down at her. It snapped its sharp teeth and lift his his head letting his long coils  shift. 

“Have you come to drag me back to marry you?” Cami asked. He just looked at her.

“Damnit Daimyn.”  She lowered the sword and walked out into the sun. He followed her his coat was dull and probably looked as bad as her own. She went inside and dug in a box fining her favorite curry brush. Seeing it he came over. She brushed him not speaking. She knew she was only strengthening their old bond, 

He went to the bucket by the door and picked up her brush in his teeth. their physical bond hadn’t weakened two years wouldn’t dissolve a decade and a half of friendship.  He was her first and only love. Her family thought shed just be ok with a marriage contract. She brushed him until his coat looked closer to the burnish copper she remembered. he put his he’d over her shoulder. Then suddenly, her tall fiancé was hugging her. 


“I’m not marrying you.”

“That’s not why I’m came.”

She gave him a squeeze. “Then why?”

He shrugged. “I missed you.”

“You tracked me down because you missed me?”

He shrugged. “You were my best friend before our mothers meddled with our lives.

“You had nothing to do with that?”

“I’m not saying I hadn’t thought about marrying you. But I would have talked to you before I asked anyone to arrange things. I was trying to figure out if you’d even want that. And obviously I was right.” He took the brush from her a flourished his hand.

Changed into her own brown streaked with platinum and gold equine form. He didn’t comment on her appearance. She knew she had filled out close to her full size, but her mane was matted and she sdidnet shimmer as she used to. 

He finished and looked at her main. That is going to take (rethink separate hair and skin care needs.)

He dropped the brush back in her bucket and looked around. 

She changed back. “I don’t think I would have minded you asking me. Im not saying I would married you., but I wouldn’t have run off.”

He nodded. “What if we pick off where we were before our mothers tried to plan our lives.”


“Would you give me a chance to do it our own way?”

She took a step away. “I haven’t seen you in two years.”

“I was no where near ready to marry you then. And im not now. For all I know we have grown too far apart. I just want to get to know you again and maybe we might be a good match. And if we are or not I have no intentions of returning home.”

Cami took another step back. “No expectations?”

“Only that I would get to spend time with my best friend again. If yo are not interested I will just leave.”

“Don’t do that. It really is good to see you again.”

“So, where can I sleep.” 

“Anywhere, except my bed.” cami grabbed his arm. Let me show you around.

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